twenty-two lessons

the day is upon us! it has finally arrived! it is the moment we have all been waiting for! my birthday!

ha ;)

now that i have reached the ripe old age of twenty-two (cue a chorus of Taylor Swift and co. crooning, "twenty-twooo-oo-oo-oooh!") i am feeling super mature and knowledgeable, and i have clearly figured everything out. not. i have, however, figured out that the whole "write a list of [insert age here] things to do at [insert age here]!" shebang just doesn't work for me. (i have tried on several birthdays to set such goals. there is blog evidence of my attempts. don't look for them! it is pitiful. there are still things on my list from, like, 18 which i haven't achieved yet.) 

instead, i decided that this year i'd write a list of 22 things i have learned and in which i believe - little lessons that friends or family or writers or movies or Instagram (awkward) have taught me, and stuff to remind myself over the course of 2015. this list will go up in my office, and it will go up in my bedroom (although, to be fair, my office is probably going to be my bedroom on many occasions), and it will remind me of good things and hard work and being useful. i'm sharing it here because i am a generous soul and i like to impart wisdom on other people. (i also like sarcasm way more than anyone should, so if i'm coming off as desperately sanctimonious, you should know that i'm laughing at myself as i sit here and type this ;) )

so! without further ado, i reveal The List (with some explanations below the photo):

...and now for the explanations.

1. claim your space.

i put this first because it is something i have decided i am going to live out in the coming year if it kills me. too often i have let myself be confined to other people's expectations; too many times i have tried to take up as little physical, mental and emotional space as possible to make room for everyone else. this has to stop, because i am valuable and so are my opinions and feelings and activities. my amazingamazing boyfriend Chris got me a copy of Amy Poehler's book Yes Please for Christmas/my birthday, and she has so much to say about the value of owning your space and not letting others take it from you. to quote her, "Am I allowed to take up space? Yes please." i will be taking up space this year. you should, too.

2. popular doesn't equal valuable.

i received this piece of advice from the crazy Dallas Clayton (a modern day Dr Seuss) who posted this on his Instagram account this morning:

"It's nice to be popular. It's a good feeling - to belong, to have a voice that is heard, agreed with, supported. It's nice to know people care about you, think about you. Could be your classmates at school, peers at work, maybe even strangers on the street. It's tricky though, when we begin to put popularity first, to consider it synonymous with worth. We raise children to believe that life is not a popularity contest, and yet here on all sides of us we find ranking, calculating, listing from best to worst. Doesn't show any signs of slowing down, near as I can tell. Popularity contests are in fact as popular as they've ever been. Ha! So how do we reckon with it? I suspect the answer has something to do with embracing that thing you love, knowing that who you are and what you are doesn't have to be popular to matter. Celebrating, in the face of all this projected desire to sit in the number one spot, the idea that the small and simple things can have just as much impact as those designed to blanket the masses. Play your song, raise your banner, love your love, find your worth, and be yourself, no matter who's listening."

great advice, right?

3. hard work beats talent 99.5% of the time.

i wrote a whole blog post on this a few days ago, so i won't bore you with the details again. go read it here if you haven't already ;) (funny story - when typing this list out on my typewriter, i'd planned on typing "hard work beats talent 99% of the time" for this point. i hit shift when i shouldn't have and got a half sign instead of a percentage sign... as if to really reinforce how small your chances of getting by on sheer talent are. not even 1%. half a percent. well played, silly fingers.)

4. imperfection can be beautiful.

another blog post for you to read! 

5. treat yo'self.

a lesson i learned from the marvellous Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford (characters on the best television show on earth, Parks and Recreation). breaks are good. rest is lovely. treats are the SHIZ. taking care of yourself is important. this seems obvious, but i'm very talented at skipping the rest and the care, so i have to remind myself.

6. put your phone down.

ugh. i need a detox. i am addicted and it is not good! there is so much more to do than sit around and play games or check Facebook and Instagram five kajillion times an hour. i plan on doing some of that much more, because life is short and faces are far nicer than screens.

7. there is not enough time for hating yourself. too much to make. go.

this gem of advice comes from the iridescent Tavi Gevinson. self-hate - who needs it? your time could be much better spent. my time could, too.

8. step out. don't settle for what's comfortable. pursue things that frighten you.

introversion means i don't like introducing myself to people. or doing lots of social activities. eep. it's time to conquer this, even just a little bit.

9. discipline is remembering what you want.

constant vigilance! 

10. grammar is important.

i am of the opinion that this needs no explanation. (grammar does not include using capital letters at the beginnings of sentences on social media platforms, by the way. in case you were wondering.)

11. time moves quickly. use it while you have it. love people while they are still with you.

it feels like yesterday i was an ickle firstie, sitting in one of the AMM's seminar rooms for a Journ 1 tut. now i will be sharing an office with somebody as i intern and work towards my Masters. time is crazy and moves at a ridiculous pace. i want to make good use of the time i have. procrastination only gives you (metaphorical, but sometimes literal) ulcers.

as for loving people? i have taken for granted the presence of many of my friends over the past few years. this is something i am realising now that it's too late, and they are no longer going to be around me as much. i don't want to make the same mistake again.

12. travel is always a good idea.

duh.

13. get the right amount of sleep.

you'd think this would be a given. i am bad at sleeping ENOUGH - i either sleep too little or far too much. striking a balance would be fabulous.

14. write more, read more, listen more, hug more.

all perfectly good goals. i was going to add "swear less"... but naaaaah. life's too short ;)

15. weirdness is underrated.

i have already embraced my crazy. i am just letting you know that nothing is going to happen to change that this year. prepare yourself accordingly.

16. believe in magic.

not necessarily the wave-your-wand Harry Potter kind or the wriggle-your-nose Matilda kind (although who am i to stop you if you want to believe in that?) - i'm talking more about the everyday kind of magic. when something you need to happen just happens. or someone you love phones right when you need to hear their voice. or you eat a magical slice of cake. magic exists! believe!

17. laughter is helium and healing.

it is lightness and can be a marvellous thief of both petty sadness and heavy sorrow. also, the sound of it is wonderful! most of the time. some people have terrible laughs and should just never ever laugh in the presence of other people. (just kidding... but not really.)

18. honesty is more important than visibility.

to quote Mr Clayton again, "Focus more on how much you have done, how honest it is and how it moves you forward. Focus less on how many people have seen it."

19. friendships should be measured not by volume but by depth.

the good old "quality over quantity" argument works here. i am so grateful for the relatively few but extraordinarily precious people i count as close friends.

20. there's nothing wrong with being the one who loves the most, but you have to love yourself, too.

this! this is from a longer piece written by a young woman named Emm Roy, who does marvellous work over at Emm's Positivity Blog. i love it, and i am working hard at loving myself.

21. you are not who you were. nor are you done changing. live in the layers, not on the litter.

this point was inspired by a poem i read yesterday called "The Layers" by Stanley Kunitz which my friend Sarah shared on Facebook and which i'm pretty sure is going to be my poem for 2015. just go read it.

22. kill it. every time.

here, "it" refers to all the work i have ahead of me this year - the work about which i'm anxious and excited and terrified. it also refers to any and every mosquito. i hate mosquitoes.

...and there you have it! a very lengthy list of things i will be telling myself this year. 

nothing inspired by Taylor Swift. 

weird.